STARBUCKS SLOW-DOWN

Hi, my name is Arthur and I'm a Starbuckoholic. Yes, I know Starbucks is "the man," but the coffee is strong and robust and there's something they do to it that has me hooked. I once walked into You can't tell me that the local street-cart's burnt brown-water gives your day the same kickstart. Dunkin Donuts? Brown water. Coffee Beanery? Brown water. Juan Valdez? I haven't tested. Actually, I've gotten much better about reducing my Starbucks intake and my wallet's much happier for it. I've pared down from four cups a day to only two. There are several reasons I've cut back: the cost, the heart palpitations and now the pain that is waiting on line at any of the multiple Starbucks locations in and around Times Square, especially during the morning rush.

Sure I could leave home for work a little earlier in the morning but I've got about 8 minutes allotted for buying coffee before getting to the office and that should be plenty. Unfortunately, something has gone horribly wrong behind the counter at these Starbucks-- the servers move like space cadets on valium. I'm not talking 2pm frappa-dappachino Times Square tourist rushes here, those lines that snake to the door and only end with the air-conditioning. When presented with a simple order like say, two tall coffees, they stare into space, fumble counting out bills and change and move in three different directions before finally deciding on a course of action.

MY THEORY: Simple, in its quest for world-domination the continuing expansion of stores and relocation of well-trained veteran Starbucks servers has diluted the company's service standards. These locations need captain's, pit-bosses, someone to look over the servers' shoulders and make sure they keep moving:

Bad: 43rd and 8th
Worse: 43rd and Broadway
Worst: 41st and Broaway

I know I'm burned-out on tourists and Times Square and tourists in Times Square standing on street corners and that it's a pet peeve and these good folks behind the counter are inundated with cranky coffee-freaks all day asking for crazy concotions and that this probably isn't the life-calling for most of them but some of them seem to going slow on purpose. Come on folks! Speed-up! It's a cup of black coffee with a top and a sleeve!